Relationship Backpack

Starting a relationship gives you someone to talk to; someone you can lean on when in times of trials; someone you can share your dreams with, and someone you can spend the rest of our life with.

A relationship is made up of two individuals who share the same hopes and dreams; a couple who fills up their own individual gaps with individual strengths and weaknesses. Building up a relationship requires tandem effort, and it eats up a lot of tandem effort. Maintaining a relationship needs not two individuals but only one vision made up by two unified, loving minds.

But after all is said and done, a relationship still ends up with two individuals with diverse lives and diverse characteristics. An individual’s needs are still different from another individual’s needs. Despite the closeness of a couple in a relationship, space is still needed for them to breathe and live as individuals with diverse needs and characteristics.

First of all, before you get into a relationship, you should have already established a lifestyle and characteristics that you cannot just leave behind and forget once you have committed yourself into loving someone. That someone also had a life of his or her own before you met him or her and he or she can’t just leave that life all at once just for the sake of getting into a relationship. What both individuals should do is give each other some space to still live their lives and do other things that were around them before they committed themselves to the relationship.

Space is a vital part of relationship’s maintaining power. Lack of space might lead to the suffocation of the individual; and a little after that, the death of the relationship.

Space is given for the individual who is in a relationship to still do things on his or her own; what clothes to wear, who to hang out with. Individual decisions should not be done by a couple, they should be done individually. Most relationships are subjected to bad endings because the individuals in a relationship tend to step on each other’s lives and tries to control them because they don’t like it; they end up deciding what should the other do, the other ends up becoming a slave, and the relationship is bound to fall off at any given time.

Space is also important for the privacy of an individual in a relationship. Privacy is also the main reason why relationships tend to get out of hand. It is important to remember that individual privacy is entirely different from the privacy within a relationship even though both are really important elements. Individual privacy is more of a person’s own space; a sanctuary within himself or herself; it is where he or she ponders on the things he or she has accomplished in life as an individual.

Space, along with enough time is also required for a relationship to strengthen itself up to an unbreakable extent wherein the individuals in that relationship are happy being together and are also happy being individuals who have their own breathing and thinking space.

Dating a mama’s boy is not a laughing matter and many women love their husbands enough not to leave them. They want to help their men to recover and push on with life. In some cases some guys are the ones with a problem. Their moms have no issues and behave just like any other mother. The cause for such behavior in most instances is when a mother creates unhealthy dependency between the son and her when the child is growing up. The problem sets in when after adulthood the guy still remains hooked up to the mum. The mum lets all the strong attachments loose while the son feels he cannot face the world alone. He has got to have his mother on his side all the time. If you are a woman dating a mama’s boy you have to get psychological help because he is emotionally so dependent on the mother because he will never let his mother go or worse still he might try to turn you into his mother.

In another case, the mum might be the one who is not ready to cut the cord. As the woman in his son’s life you always suffer the consequences. The mother feels like you are competing for his son’s love. When you notice this as a woman dating a mama’s boy, you should not start being hard on him, you are a woman remember. You can use sweet words to get what you want. Gently coax your husband or boyfriend to be kind but set respectful boundaries with his mother. Let it not appear like you are trying to separate him from his mother. He has to be willing to pass the message. If you are used to visiting her every Sunday, you can suggest that you reduce that to once a month.

As a woman dating a mama’s boy you usually think of confronting his mother but is it a wise decision? It is not advisable at all because this is likely to cause a wedge in your relationship. This will force the guy to feel like he is being forced to choose between you and the mother. You are the stranger in the mix and so you can guess who will be thrown out. However if you are in a secure old relationship, you can decide its time for a little chat. Invite her for lunch and air out your concerns and remember to remain casual. “I sometimes feel like you do not let your son to be who he wants to be”. This is an example of an opening line you can use in your chat. Continue to explain that you want to be included in their relationship because you are a part of it.

It is possible to rehabilitate mama’s boy. A woman dating a mama’s boy who have got help has confessed to having a renewed uncontrolled relationship. This happens when the man in the unhealthy relationship acknowledges that he needs help. If your guy is young, you can encourage him to take baby steps. As he grows old he will need less energy and time to reconstruct his relationship with his mum. As a woman who is rehabilitating a mama’s boy, do it with a lot of empathy and a great sense of humor.